Ambiguity of Belonging
Belonging as a bunch of open questions
Image Credits: Shwetha Harsha, ChutneyMix
This flash essay is part of a collaborative, constrained-writing challenge undertaken by some members of the Bangalore Substack Writers Group. This month, each of us examined the concept of ‘BELONGING’. At the bottom of this snippet, you’ll find links to other essays by fellow writers.
One belongs to a place
One belongs to a time
One belongs to a set of people
But can belonging be an emotion tied to any one of these?
Or is it a state of mind in constant flux?
As I tried to unpack this, more questions tumbled out.
What is a sense of not belonging anywhere? Being rootless, floating from one corner of a state to another, like a migrant tucked away from home, hoping for a future that keeps slipping further away.
How do people staying away from what they call “home” retain their sense of belonging? By keeping a photo of the thing closest to their heart, or a keychain, a wrapped shirt, a gift from a dear one, something, anything that fills the void of not being at peace with comfort and warmth. Of not being at home.
And what does it mean to escape home? What comes after the escape?
Home, or whatever we call home, might be a place we frequent, a street we walk daily, a routine, a habit. Crossing its boundary brings a brief relief, a thrill of having made it to “the other side.” But soon, the looming limbo of doubt and dread pushes one to seek the familiar: tradition, culture, stories — real and imagined. Ways to cope with our connection or lack of connection with a place in time.
So how does one get away and stay rooted at the same time? Clutching onto fragments of identity. It may calm some. It may cause chaos for others.
But if tiny tokens help us retain a home, why do those who set off early, with nothing, adjust so easily elsewhere? Why do they fit into unfamiliar settings with surprising ease?
“What does Belonging mean to me?”
A place where I stay. A place where I review my thoughts in peace. A feeling, an emotion, a yearning for home. The yearning I felt on that lonely night cycling when I lost my way home and found it back once I tapped myself into reality.
People who I owe this life, shaped me by lending a shoulder and heard me at a certain point in time. Time that isn’t coming back. Time that feels touchable, but which simply doesn’t exist.
Belonging for me leaves a whole lot of questions. Do I truly appreciate where I am today? Do I know my true self, and am I comfortable with it? Am I okay with being here and not there?
To belong to a place, I hope to be familiar with it. As an introvert, I’m uneasy in crowds. But when I know the wavelength matches, I know I can share random thoughts with—like my Substack. I feel like I belong. Maybe I’m a drifter, an aimless wanderer. But the attempt to fit into a safe space gives me a sense of belonging.
When moving from one metro station to the next, do we get attached to one and not the other? Why? They don’t matter in the larger picture. We don’t spend enough time in them to get attached.
We get attached to home because we spend time there, through the good and the bad; we live there. What if we end up living on the bus stands, railway stations or any checkpoints between two terminals? Would we belong to those spaces, too? Perhaps a wild proposition.
So, what then do we call home? Where do we belong? Can we escape belonging?
No certain answers I have. Only questions that I keep circling back to.
At what moment can we say belonging has finally kicked in?
When staying feels more appealing than stepping out. When the wallpaper pulls you in, to be a part of the painting. When thirst seems quenched, yet there’s still one more round left to run. When you no longer need a blanket, the room's warmth is just enough to make it through the night.
Belonging may be where you grew up, or where you found yourself. It may not be a place at all, but a fleeting moment in time.
Essays by Bangalore Substack Writers Group: -
Happiness & a sense of belonging by Aarti Krishnakumar, Aarti’s Substack
Virtual Embrace by Shwetha Harsha, ChutneyMix
Belonging Is A Many Shaped Word by Priyanka Sacheti, A Home For Homeless Thoughts
I belong by Spandana, Spandana’s Substack
We are all mad here by Gowri N Kishore | About Murder, She Wrote.
The Complexity of Belonging by Avinash Shenoy, Off the walls
#14: On Belonging, by Siddhesh Raut, Shana, Ded Shana
Where am I? By Abhiram R, Abhiram’s Newsletter
Across the Seven Seas, the Ocean Waits by Amit Charles, AC Notes
The Canteen, By Shruthi, Will you be my Friend?
Somewhere I Belong, By Meghana Ramachandra, One True Sentence
Unknown Citizen by Nidhishree Venugopal, The General in her Labyrinth
“What is a sense of not belonging anywhere? Being rootless, floating from one corner of a state to another, like a migrant tucked away from home, hoping for a future that keeps slipping further away.” This stayed with me. I feel more and more that belonging is definitely state of mind, and what our state of mind is, subsequently changes. Maybe that's why those who have unfortunately got estranged from their families do not feel they belong there anymore (or maybe never did) On the other hand, many end up choosing families of close and loved ones, and the same goes for places as well. Anyways this was such a lyrical essay and I enjoyed you posing more questions than giving answers too. Thank you for sharing 😊
I love that this text discovered more questions than it answered.